Dream a little dream for me

upside down Ciko. credit: me

If you Google  "when someone appears in your dream it means that person misses you", you will have interesting "psychological facts". Well, of course the first statement is highly debatable. I once dreamt Ricky Gervais, John Safran, a few a Greek and Russian old women, all in one occasion. Can't say they miss me, no? I don't even know the Greek and Russian women *smirk*. But it is still interesting to think that the person I dreamt actually misses me.  



Last night I dreamt about one of my exes. He's from a distant past, the first person who taught me a lot about life. He's married now, and I, because the universe loves a twisted fucked up plot, became quite good friends with his wife. I thought I would avoid them at all cost, but it didn't happen according to my plan. Back to the dream: in it, I was really close with him, sharing the typical conversation that we had when we were still together. The silly old jokes, the sarcasm towards each other, hugs and laughter. It felt so real, I woke up with a fright.

Fear aside, I knew I missed this person. And I think that's a reason for him to pop into my subconscious. I doubt that he thinks about me, let alone misses me. I know that in the end, it won't matter because I realise he was a part of my life that I have long abandoned because it was too poisonous. 

Sometimes, what's in the past doesn't stay there. When your past catches up with you, what do you do? Do you hide and wait? Do you bravely step forward and act like you don't care? I used to run and hide, but for the past two years or so, I have learnt to slowly build up my courage to face all past nightmares. Remember the cliche saying: the ultimate win is to live well.

I also have learnt that the hardest is the present. The present requires you to act, so you can move on from what is called the past and what will become of you in the future.

Maybe dreams are reminder too, letting me know that I have unresolved issues; hints for my hidden problems.Or maybe they are just silly collage that my subconscious haphazardly arranges and presents when I sleep. 

Oh, I have another fringe idea. If, let's just say, human minds are interconnected with some weird wireless system, is it possible that when we dream, we actually are connecting with the people in our dream? It will be nice, I guess. We just need to sleep to see people that we miss. Double win: sleeping and catching up with those who are dear to us.

The death of Multiply

How many of you have known that Multiply is closing down their blog service? I found out maybe a week (or more) ago. And then I read the "official" news on the web. I went to check my account, even though I knew I wouldn't mind if Multiply just deleted everything that I had there. Most of the writings is trash---unimportant emotional breakdowns. I have a few here too, but I have tried (maybe not so hard) to limit the cliche cheesy-smeeshy-rants. 

So, when I went to see, my Multiply account/blog was still there. There's an announcement from the Multiply dude (I'm sure he has a title AND a name, but I forgot) apologising and explaining what's going to happen with Multiply. The blog service will be closed down permanently on the first of December. Maybe a few weeks from today, they will announce how users can save and download their blogs if they want to. If not, Multiply will delete all contents. 

If I can be a bit sentimental about this, I'd say I'm a bit sad that the blog service will be terminated. My blog on blogger has been running for a longer period of time (I was just too lazy to add new posts) than my Multiply blog, but somehow I remembered I was more productive with Multiply. I did movie reviews and shit. Here, I just bitch. I guess one of the reasons why I was quite excited writing new posts for Multiply was because I could see how many people with Multiply account had read my piece. Call me a narcissist or whatever, but it's nice to know that a few people read what I had to say. Even though, there's only one person who would actually give a comment/feedback.

When I stopped writing for my Multiply blog (because of different reasons), Blogger has revised the dashboard menu. Now I can see how many people have accessed my posts. Blogger also includes statistic and other stuff, like ads, that I'm not really interested in. So moral of the story is: knowing that there are people who access my blog (incidentally or not) is quite thrilling. 

I'm sure you (people who blog) have, at least once, said to yourself: I'm only writing stuff for myself; I'm not trying to get famous or whatever; this is just a personal blog, so I don't care whether people read it or not; etc. etc. Yes, of course we write for ourselves, but does it mean we don't want other people to read it? If this is really the case, why do you have a published blog at the first place? Why don't you make it private? I like knowing that there are those who enjoy reading my blog. If I can make the readers feel something, even though it's contempt, I'd be quite happy.

I guess now I need to wait until Multiply announces how I can download my blog. It's trash, but it's my trash.