A Christmas Letter for You

I made a "status update" on Facebook recently, saying that I would be going on another trip and see another country, explore a new place and meet new strange people, but there's one significant difference now. Now, I have a home to go back to.

You are my new-found home. Unlikely it may seem, I found home after flying as far as 14,000 km from where I have lived and grown up. That island and city are something I often called home but never truly felt like one. I actually didn't understand what home was before I met you. And now I do. It's warmth and comfort; it's safety and care; it's love and affection. You are the constant source of these things that make me at home...at ease, not worried or anxious about all terrible things in the vast dark world.

The most important thing about this new-found home is that it allows me to be myself. How many times I have told you that I have been leading an abridged life? Censored by social and cultural norms and parental warnings. When I'm with you, I can be myself. Maybe this is what freedom tastes like. Maybe freedom isn't such a utopian concept after all like I thought before. 

I have read your letter about Christmas and it reminds me that Christmas is like Hari Raya: it's time when you go back to see your family and closest friends. Although I am not there physically, you know that you have me. And I'm sending you warm hugs through digital space. It might not be as good as the real ones, but they are yours to keep.

Now I understand why I have been working so hard these past years: I have been paving a way to find home. However, it's not easy to go back home now, but I feel it's going to be worth the effort. I have never wanted anything this much, so I am fairly certain I will make every necessary effort to come back home to you.

Have a happy Christmas. I love you.