The Perks of LDR, or Having Space is Really Great!

Long-distance relationship has its own perks. It's space. The infinite amount of space, regardless how far or close you are geographically. It doesn't matter whether you're 14,000 miles or just 3 hours-drive away, you will still have that amazing space between you and your partner. Of course, as with almost anything and everything in life, it might act as a double-edged sword. It might hurt or help you.

In the case of helping the relationship, with long-distance relationship you don't need to have a mental space, which I personally think is harder to conjure than just acknowledging the physical space. When you are in close proximity with you partner, you don't get to run away when you need some space. You have to create the mental space in your head and that, I found, requires a massive effort. Especially if said partner is in the same room, breathing too loudly or something like that.

Space and distance can also help one to focus on what actually matters, instead of the emotional side of things. When you're too close to the subject that is pissing you off or driving you mental, you can't (easily) think, okay I want to scream at this person now but I won't because it's not productive or nice. It will take a longer time for you to calm down and start processing things more objectively. When you have the distance and the space with it, you can just turn off your computer (or phone) assuming you're up-to-date with the latest technology and not relying on letters (can't even remember the last time I wrote an actual letter to someone), and then get the contemplation going. Or, alternatively, you can just go out and see your friends and have a laugh, feel better and go back home, with a full realisation that you won't even have to see the subject of your annoyance at least until a couple of days.

Relationship is tricky. Talking about cliches and boring statements. It's like trying to have a domestic scale of an UN assembly, constantly trying to work together despite the differences. In my case, it's even more similar because I don't share historical or cultural background with my partner. We're from a completely different culture and family. It is cultural shock, but it is also relationship shock--transitioning from long-distance to no-distance.

I might sound a bit ungrateful now considering a lot of couples in long-distance relationships would just do almost anything to be together and eliminate the distance. I'm not ungrateful, though. In fact, writing this reminded me that I (well, we) need to concentrate on being better. Maintaining a long-distance relationship is hard work, but then again, maintaining any relationship is hard work. Which is why I think it's worth living for.