Social norms and its problems

We are living in a society with, why of course, social norms. Especially in Indonesia, these social norms are the way of conduct to be upheld, the way you--as a part of the society--react and act on different issues in life. One particular section in such norms is how a girl or woman to act decently or properly.

It always fascinates me the way Indonesian society rules the way Indonesian women live their lives. I, for example, have been an object to this social regulation imposed forcefully upon me. I'm currently dating a non-Indonesian (hate to say foreigner, because he's no longer "foreign"). As any normal dating process would go, I'd regularly visit my boyfriend and vice versa. Sometimes I'd spend a night at his place and he would do the same. I would go to the office early in the morning since traffic's always crazy in this city.

Apparently, my--perhaps--quite often appearances early in the morning in the neighborhood had risen a problem. The neighbors (I suspect they're the non-working women that watch too much telly) reported to the neighborhood security guards that there were several Indonesian girls who spent the night at my boyfriend's house. He lives with several other people, and one of his friend also dates an Indonesian. And the neighbors don't like seeing girls coming in and out of the house. So came a security guard telling the people at the house to not allow any (Indonesian) girl to stay over again.

I will emphasize the nationality here. In the house, there is also a couple who basically are living together. But they're both Germans which of course the guy constantly sleeps over at the girl's place doesn't raise any issue. Why? I guess it's easier for the neighbors to accept the fact that foreigners have a different way of life and interact with each other. But fellow Indonesians must uphold the norms. Or they don't suspect anything from the Germans couple, yet they have a certain idea on us, me, Indonesian girls that visit regularly the "bule's" house. The general idea is girls dating foreigners are not "perempuan baik-baik", loosely translated they are not "decent women". And this idea is sooooo last century or so.

Do the neighbors still have the narrow view on Indonesian girls dating foreigners? Why my action--spending night at a foreigner's house--was considered as inappropriate? Am I degrading myself by doing so? Why would they bother? My action has not created any loss on their side. However, their action has made spending time together with my boyfriend a bit difficult. It won't affect my relation of course but the society--not even the one I'm living in--has obstructed bits of my freedom. It would be nice if they would just come directly to me and explain this issue. Instead, they went to the security guard who later came to the house and talked to my boyfriend. Typical communication pattern in an Indonesian society.

This is not my first experience in this issue. I really hope this will be the last, even I highly doubt that there won't be this kind of problem in the future if I date a foreigner.