Dear tiny lump in my right breast,
I sincerely hope you're just one of those weird lumps that sometimes ache but not really going to hurt my body in a horrible-mutated-cancerous way. I hope you are just the kind of lump that needs some care and attention and then you will get better after I give you some love. I really don't want to force you out of my breast because that will be sad. I also don't want you to grow bigger because that will be bad.
I just want you to stay where you are, or if you can just dissolve nicely and harmless, that will be amazing. It will be even better if it turns out you're just a gland, like other glands in my breasts. Maybe you're just a bit different. Maybe you're just a bit lonely.
Anyway, my dear tiny lump, I hope we can have a good relationship that doesn't require anyone to get sedated and go under a surgeon's knife. Especially not in this country.
Sincerely yours,
Me
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