The Expendable *unlike the movie*

I have written something similar actually on my other blog (which on a serious consideration of putting it to sleep, forever) and maybe stupidly cross-posted it here: about how friends eventually drift apart, not because we grow hatred towards each other; it's just because we fail to find the thing that sticks us together.

I remembered I wrote it in terms of natural selection, was it Darwin or the other guy? Anyway, the issue now is the expendable(s). Nothing like the movie, I can assure you. It's more to the fact that most of the time (this year anyway) I feel expendable. And, perhaps, have made other people feel the same.

It's a common practice in this social life: you reach people when you need them and dump them when you're finished. Hence, the phrase "taking things for granted". You tend to ignore the fact that friends don't come easily. You just take things for granted, acting as if these people are there for your purposes. Not caring whether they have any feelings about your cockiness or not.

My latest dumping did not go well (when will it go well, anyway?). I was dumped and felt extremely hurt. Just when I expected my life would go on slowly and safe after that, I encountered a similar situation. It was not dumped-dumping per se, but I was pushed away... hard, which felt, sadly, similar to being dumped. Then again, they are only different words with the same meaning.

Whether you are dumped or dumping or drifting apart from your friend(s), it doesn't change the fact that this kind of event hurts you. A bit, much, tremendously... it's your call. But knowing that the names on your friends list have decreased really put you (me, in this case) into a perspective.

I realise that my existing friends (not that many, I'm afraid) will stay there no matter what. We might not see each other for a couple months but when we do, there's no gap. We behave normally, as if we've seen each other every day.

The rest of the names on the list: they will either delete themselves or be deleted. And such is life. It sucks, but I know that I just have to move along.